I never wanted kids, but I never thought I will have an abortion.

I never imagined those five seconds would haunt me for the rest of my life. It’s not the termination I regret — it’s the fact I found myself in that situation at all. The only solace I have is knowing that, even if I hadn’t chosen to end it, I still wouldn’t have carried it to term. It was never meant to be.

It all began with a simple friend request. Fast forward three months, and I let my guard down, allowing him into the heart I had fiercely protected for years. A heart shattered more times than I could count, one that still held a reservoir of love, yet had found no one truly worthy to receive it.

I felt a connection to him unlike anything I had ever experienced. It was peculiar — a man I had never even met, yet I was utterly captivated by the mere idea of his existence. Our communication was constant; with him, I no longer felt the aching void of emptiness. Loneliness became a distant memory, as did the desperate need to feel wanted or loved. He filled that void, became my new normal.

But was it love? Or was I simply entranced by the feelings he stirred in me during our…